Glee, One Born Every Minute & Teachers review.

Today, I’m prepared to potentially lose a lot of readers in only my second article. I’m not scared, but I’m barricading myself in my room with some bottled water and a stockpile of Marmite based products and chocolate. Why? Because I am about to insult some of the most famous and loved shows on TV today. Then I’m going to reverse and go for another angle – I’m going to prove yet again that old series are still the best.

Do you know what makes me happy? Music and television combined. I’m talking Jools Holland, old school Top of the Pops, even the odd music video. Do you know what I loathe? Glee. It fills me with anything but. Glee is the kind of television show that’s reserved for mindless teenagers and single female nut jobs with more cats than ex-boyfriends. It manages to mix the twee reworks of songs alongside the coming of age stories we all go through. Except that if any of my friends went through them in the same way as that, I’d have to punch them all in the face until they realised that a good night out down Wind Street will fix almost any woe. For this reason, I’d appreciate it if all the ‘Gleeks’ who try to change my attitude towards it would just gluck off.

Another thing that makes me happy is babies; little chubby happy babies, giggling away. So why is it that every week I put myself through the trauma of One Born Every Minute? I can only hope that they’re using it in sex education at schools now – move over Marie Stopes, there’s a new contraceptive in town, and it’s visual! However, for all the disgustingness in the show (did you know that in the American version, midwives wear protective glasses in case of ‘splatter’?), there are some genuinely beautiful, heart rendering moments. What I love most about this show is the realness of it – no scripts, no prepared scenes, just the stark reality of how much hard work there is to be done within a busy maternity ward. Of course, this doesn’t mean I’m ever going to understand why expectant mothers allow themselves to be filmed for national television. That’s just crazy.

Speaking of absolutely infantile beings, this week’s recommendation of an old series goes to Teachers, all the way from 2001. The programme follows the adventures of several teachers in a Bristol secondary school, both at work and within their extra-curricular activities – a lot of which seems to revolve around going to the pub and discussing which celebrities or colleagues they’d sleep with. However, I argue that Teachers manages to present those in the profession as human beings dealing with the same issues as everyone else, not just those faceless beings who present you with a tonne of homework on a Friday night. It’s ridiculously funny, it’s interesting, and it’s one of the best series that British television has ever managed to come up with. The first three series star Andrew Lincoln as Simon who spends the majority of his times using the same excuses as his students to explain why he hasn’t done his work; possibly one of the most likable characters in existence, yet if you found out that he was teaching your kids, you’d immediately send them to boarding school. I was hooked from the first episode, and I will bet you my first born that you will be too.

All four series of Teachers can be found on 4oD. One Born Every Minute is on Wednesday nights at 9pm on Channel 4. I’m not telling you when Glee is on.