Blind Date

A few weeks ago, I was approached by one of my colleagues at The Waterfront, asked if I could help her out by going on a blind date. Normally, I would never, ever consider doing such a thing. I'm socially awkward at the best of times, and strangers bring me out in a rash, but this time, I had a feeling in my waters that this could go well. So, reader, I did it, and here is the finished piece from the glorious vessel of journalistic greatness that is The Waterfront.

When Catrin met Matt

Catrin Lewis, a 21-year-old Social Policy student and Matt Edwards, a 22-year-old English Literature student, meet for the Waterfront blind date.

Catrin on Matt

What were your first impressions?
When I fisrt met Matt, my first thought was how I wished blind date was a literal term, as a lack of vision would have made being in this man's general vicinity bearable. I was vaguely impressed by his choice of extra hot sauce, though, just because I could use it as a reason as to why I wouldn't be going anywhere near him.

Any striking conversation points?
I was absolutely fascinated by his love of dystopian novels and feminist literature, as well as his devotion to separating the recycling in his house perfectly, every single week. Did you know that Swansea council aren't supposed to take 'tetrapak', but they will if you hide it at the bottom of the bag? Yeah, me neither, but I do now. Great.

Any awkward moments or silences?
I cannot tell you how much happiness I took from the silence that ensued when he went to the toilet; probably to throw up from over indulging in too much extra-hot sauce, or just to cry. Either way, I wish he'd stayed in there a little longer so that I could have escaped like I wanted. He also said how much he loves Big Bang Thory. At that point, I could have easily rested my knife in his eyeball.

If you were to have babies, what would you want your baby to inherit?
What wouldn't I want our baby to inherit? The hat that was permanently glued to his head? The girlish hands? Or maybe the receding hairline that is simply remarkable in a 22 year old. He did have nice eyelashes though.


Any potential for a kiss?
I'm still scrubbing as we speak after our post-Sin City coitus. I'm sure we kissed somewhere along the way, but all I remember is waing up to him calling his mother to tell her he'd finally done it, in a dirty bedroom with a sense of shame and a hangover that can only have been induced by Sambuca.


Would you like to meet again?
Let's just say that I'm rather looking forward to the fact that he'll soon be leaving Swansea, meaning I can finally take off this head scarf and ridiculous pair of glasses.



Matt on Catrin


What were your first impressions?
We met outside Nandos. At first I thought Catrin was looking at me with a hungering lust, but I quickly realised that I was in the way of the door and she wanted chicken. She only had lemon and herb. What's the point of that? That's like going to the graduation ball and deciding 'Actually, I'm just going to stick this panda onesie on and ask people to enter my Love Tunnel.' Poor effort.

Any striking conversation points?
We discovered that true heroes have the highest spice in Nandos. We went to Sin City and we played the fun game of 'Whose Boobs Could Kill The Most Men?' with points given to size and how ill-fitting the dress was.


Any awkward moments or silences?
She said that she dislikes Big Bang Theory. She should've just said that she was Nick Griffin with a big of a paedo side, and I would've been more relieved. I swear to God if I hear her Nessa impression one more time, I may have to jump into a pit of razors.


If you were to have babies what would you want your baby to inherit?
Opposable thumbs, an even number of digits and preferably no webbed feet. I'd like two eyes, hair, ears, and maybe some arms and legs. A superpower or two wouldn't go amiss, but I do not think Catrin has been bitten by any manner of radioactive animal lately (I am not totally sure on this, so don't take my word for it, potential suitors).


Any potential for a kiss?
Waterfront, it's quite bold of you to ask me when this is a profile about how my date went with Catrin! I like it. I like it a lot.


Would you like to meet again?
Put it like this: if she had turned into a zombie at Nandos, I really wouldn't have wasted much time.


Matt is an Editor at the blog Huttstuff, which can be found at huttstuff.net